Winter in Melbourne...
Current temperature; 10 deg. Feels like temperature; 2 deg. The wind is biting. Its swirling and cold. Melbourne Winters are a funny thing. It feels colder than places like Patagonia, like the ski resorts in Colorado and those in Canada. The biting wind that feels like it's blowing straight from Antarctica, the sunny but cold days, the rain which brings snow to the hills around us and the shorter days that I just seem to struggle through. Is it because Summer is just such a happy time? Long days, warm nights, outdoor festivals and the like? Winter just seems to drag on forever.
I really struggle in Winter. My depression and anxiety seem to always get the better of me and return to keep me in bed longer, struggle to find motivation and impact my mojo considerably. These past few weeks I've really struggled more than usual. I've been organising my heart out for St Kilda Cycling club TDF night, trying to find a housemate and going on a trip to Spain that I'm both excited and nervous about.
I can appear like I have my shit together when I really don't and unless you dig under my introverted skin you're unlikely to notice. I come across as together, strong and independent. I am all those things. But my god, sometimes I just want someone else to adult for me. I get decision fatigue, I get lonely and I wonder if I can be bothered doing any more than get up out of bed and move to the couch.
The days pass slowly but hours go by fast. It's a contradiction really. I can lose 3 hours in a flash but can't wait for the day to be done.
Doing too much for me is cramming in 15 things into a day. For others doing too much is breakfast, a ride and a catch up with friends. I've done that before lunch! It's a blessing and a curse this desire to fill my days and of late I've cut back significantly and think I'll just hibernate while I'm in Melbourne and head to Spain for a dose of vitamin D :)